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The Spin View: Hillary dances the Congo line

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Like the Lone Ranger racing on the plains busting Silver and her “High Hos,” former president Bill Clinton galloped on some North Korean tarmac, met with Kim Jong Il and traded two captured U.S. reporters for two sweet Cuban cigars and a stained dress.

Evidently, while Hilary was showing off the latest U.S. fashions in pant suits, yet another version of the Jerry Springer show broke out during her presser in the Congo, as seen here:

Nevermind all the kitschy “Lost in Translation” headlines (originated by the great Jake Tapper) seen internationally, Hillary popped her neck, snapped those fingers and told the Congo dude asking about President Obama what’s up.

Gurl, no, you di’nt!

Don’t believe me? Rewind the video and watch her get that gangsta lean on. The way she flops back in the chair after she gesticulates all over the front row because she thought someone had the nerve to ask Hillary about her hubby and his jet setting trip.

“You want me to tell you what my husband thinks?”

That was the beginning of the end. That one blue vein pulsing in her forehead and what little of a smile she quickly was erased by her fangs. As. If?!

“My husband is not secretary of state, I am,” she replied. “If you want my opinion I will tell you my opinion. I am not going to be channeling my husband.”

Keep it classy there, Madame Secretary.

Does that shadow darken more than the sun always shining on your broad shoulder pads? Looks like it may be your legacy in politics unless there is a PR campaign revving up soon to correct this angst and envy of Captain Charisma.

During his sinful ways and non-sexual-relations-with-that-woman, Hillary kept her cool. While he was being probed by every national network in the U.S., she was steadfast by his side.

But now that she’s got the title and he’s some washed-up has-been, his shadow still looms and now she would like to get it all out. The real problem is if some student with a haphazard translator can make her square off that easy, what happens when some starched-shirt GOP acolyte confronts her when she is back stateside?

She going to shank him? Scratch his eyes out. Man up, Hillary. Come on. Who’s the good secretary of state?

Remember what they say, “Smile, and the world smiles with you. Fart… and, well, watch the video.”

POTUS Beer Run?

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Recently, the leader of the free world overstepped his boundaries just a skosh when he decided to comment on the Dr. Henry Louis Gates’ plight of being arrested at his own house for breaking and entering.

This arrest sparked yet another tired debate on police ethics, racism and what is and is not the business of the federal government.

You know, your typical week in America. (Sigh.)

Evidently, the good doctor flared a little attitude when asked for I.D. (understandably so) at his own crib and the cop was fueled by a 911 call. MEMO to the police, the caller said “suitcase”, not “race.” Just sayin’.

Anywhoo.

President Obama spent 55.5 minutes discussing health care policy for an entire nation. Good stuff for a headline, but he was thrown a ticking time bomb that blew up in his face for the last 4.5 minutes of that news conference.

“Mr. President, care to comment on Dr. Gates’ arrest?”

Come on 2012! Woohoo!

Come on 2012! Woohoo!

It doesn’t matter what was asked. That statement was in slow motion, SPOTUS Gibbs was in the back slicing his wrists as the result has now been dubbed… “HenryLouis-Gate” (cute, right).

What everyone does know is the police officer apparently acted “stupidly.” Doh!

Much ado about nothing ensued causing a national upheaval and one large presidential wedgie of his now-heralded Mom pants.

Being the casual, laissez-faire kind of cat, Obama decides to do what all presidents would do in this situation – make it worse by offering diplomacy on tap.

That’s right. This week, both Dr. Henry Louis Gates and Cambridge Police Sgt. James Crowley will walk up to the bar at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue for Happy Hour and a nice cold one. Just us guys.

Sweet. Stupidly. And evidently at Crowley’s behest?

Mr. Obama phoned Crowley, who suggested the three men sit down for a beer at the White House. The president said he liked the idea, and Gates reportedly concurred when Mr. Obama phoned him next.

Man, if it is that easy to influence an executive order, I need to make a phone call or blog my man about these pesky tax returns. Maybe, we solve our grievances over a dollar store visit or something.

Hey, uh, your royal exuberance? Call me.

Written by theflak

July 30, 2009 at 10:00 am

Walter Cronkite: And that’s the way it was

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Without a doubt, there will be memorials into perpetuity because this brilliant reporter and sage of the airwaves was finally overcome by his illnessesand there should be.

Walter CronkiteHowever, what’s lacking is Walter Cronkite’s legacy upon those talking heads giving the homage to the iconic CBS veteran.

This was “the most trusted man in America” for decades, and today, who in the world would allow a single news anchor to even babysit their kids?!

National news is pathetic regardless of where your TV remote finds you. There is no joint broadcasting, tiered openness or unleavened bias anymore. One network touts our president as “sort of God” and the other may as well accuse him of being Rosemary’s Baby.

Long gone are the days when you can turn on an evening news report and rest assured with all the facts to know that’s the way it is.

You know if the Edward R. Murrow disciples these days want to show any respect to Cronkite, consider this: the greatest tribute they can pay him is actually broadcast like him.

Whether you were old enough to see it live, or had a professor show you in school, most of us flacks have seen the regaled Cronkite announcement of JFK’s death.

You couldn’t tell if he was a gun-totin’ member of the GOP or a tree-hugging member of the Democratic Party. Why? It didn’t matter. He was there to report the news, not opine on political dissuasion.

Cronkite was the progeny of a soon-to-be extinct breed – trusted news anchors who valued integrity on facts rather getting hits on Facebook because of their misguided conjecture.

No, now you have to sift through the empty rhetoric, political bent and flat-out mudslinging to get any “facts” these days.

Godspeed, Walter. The media has become unceasingly sorrier since you left it. And now that you have left us, so will we become.

And that’s just the way it is.

Glenn Beck thinks ACORN is nuts

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ACORNAmerica has been on a tilt-a-whirl of historic presidential elections lately. We have gone from a hanging chad to the least popular guy getting the gig and most recently, massive voter registeration fraud to get their guy in the White House.

Recently, said insolvent ne’er-do-well spokesperson Scott Levenson from ACORN was a guest on the Glenn Beck show where they candidly and energetically discussed the dead people registered to vote, identity thieves hired to do to the registering and the maladroit fumblings of “partiality” ACORN exercises.

I mean it is voting after all. You would think some of that should be unbiased. Just a skosh?

Although Beck took Levenson for a trip around the block with his obtuse analogies, Levenson left the FOX studios knowing one salient truth – fire his crisis communications trainer.

Talk about a complete dolt. From fighting the caloric intake of gas Levenson injested trying to block the crap hurled in his direction to his hyper mumbling about the 2008 election and harangue of non-answers, this guy looked like a fool.

Beck lights him up with, “You sir, and your organization, are bad for America.”

Suddenly, stumbling and bumbling mouth retorts:

“You’re just afraid of black people.”

Yeah, because that’s about as classic as “I know you are but what am I” and “Your mama.”

And then, in sweet fashion, Glenn Beck gets to gloat by chunking Levenson out of studio. If you are so inclined, the entertaining reparte is here, and Beck’s bragedocio is below. Watch this peacock strut. Good for a giggle.

“The Rocket” Blasts Off in the World of PR

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Sooner or later the light bulb goes off, pops loudly because it’s been eons since anyone flipped the switch and then troubled people and organizations finally call a PR or marketing agency.

Roger Clemens kindaTake Exhibit A, Roger Clemens: owner of seven Cy Young awards, two pitching “triple crowns”, two World Series rings and a medicine cabinet chock full of ‘roids… allegedly.

Thanks to the infamous Mitchell Report, Clemens’ Hall of Fame career has been put in question, haters abound and MLB journalists have all but written his baseball obituary.

Well, “The Rocket” had that Thomas Edison epiphany and called a reputable PR firm to help him bat away the negativity – Levick Strategic Communications SVP Gene Grabowski.

Sure, it took awhile but at least he is fighting back with more than a sword in this gun fight.

How so? Clemens is in good company because his new PR guy [a stud in the industry and former “Burson Person” if you need him] has been called upon for quotes on other troubled athletes – Alex “A-Roid” Rodriguez and Michael “That’s not mine” Phelps.

Nice.

Hopefully, the spin on Clemens’ personal allegations won’t drive him dizzy. The hectic schedule on his media tour probably is taking care of that part already.

PETA’s new PR campaign out to the dogs

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So, awhile back there was this quarterback who had a truckload of cash, talent and rocks in his head. You see, his idea of fun and yuks was putting dogs in a concrete ring to play UFC. Classy.

No wonder he ran so fast

No wonder he ran so fast

Well, Michael Vick’s shenanigans caught him rethinking his position on how to treat your pet for 23 months in federal prison.

The Atlanta Falcons canned him. The NFL ostracized him. And PETA? Well, they want to beat up his mother they’re so upset.

Protests. Near riots. Lovely nicknames I care not to discuss in public (except for Vick the Puppy Slayer. So cute). And now, a possible PR opportunity?! [Shout out to PRNewser for a lovely picture].

“I’m familiar with [the PR plan],” said Dan Shannon, director of youth outreach and campaigns for PETA. “We have been in discussions with Michael Vick, with his management team, about the possibility of him putting out a public-service announcement with PETA when he’s out of jail. We want him to discourage people from taking part in dog-fighting. I can do it until I’m blue in the face and it might not convince anybody. Michael Vick sure can. He can say, ‘Look, I did it, I was wrong, and it ruined my career.’ “

How sweet when the circle of life (and blatant spin control) wheel ’round and ’round. Yes, the masters of media capitalization have allegedly approached Michael Vick to become PETA’s new spokesperson.

Who woulduve thunk it?! Well, according to this immediate post found in the Los Angeles Times, not PETA.

That offer [to be the new PETA mouthpiece] was subsequently withdrawn in December, after the group received a U.S. Department of Agriculture report offering details of the dogfighting operation that landed Vick a nearly two-year jail sentence. Shannon said in a statement that any deal was off when the group discovered, as a result of the report, that Vick had “enjoyed placing family pets in the ring with fighting pit bulls and that he laughed as dogs ripped each other apart.”

So, PETA is still advocating for your pets. Vick is still getting out of jail. And America is out one entertaining PR circus.

Love those news cycles… even when the wheels fly off from time to time.

Written by theflak

May 11, 2009 at 2:23 pm

The Spin View: Hail to the Beef

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Quite often, the media has to unplug the teleprompters and go ad-lib [cue your fave scary music here].

Hairs stand up on the back of necks, loud gulps can be heard in the production room and shivers are felt from the anchor’s desk to the receptionist’s area.

Why? Because the college graduates forget all the perfunctory items of reporting and go all “hooked on phonics” with their thinking patterns.

Now, just to add a monkey wrench to the situation, forget the white Bronco doing 120 mph down the highway.

Let’s pretend it’s something so newsworthy that all networks have to consecutively stop down and report. Oh, I don’t know… like the president of the United States ordering his lunch!?

Yeah, I know. Reporting at its best. Let’s forget the 27 million folks looking for a job, health care so unaffordable people are considering a move to Canada and oh yeah, that whole war thing. Enjoy this from “The Daily Show,” which calls B.S. on MSNBC.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “The Spin View: Hail to the Beef“, posted with vodpod

Written by theflak

May 9, 2009 at 12:41 pm