Flak Attack

If it’s in the news, the Flak attacks!

Posts Tagged ‘news cycle

POTUS Beer Run: This Bud’s not quite for you

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Nice. It even has a logo. (Not really)

Nice. It even has a logo. (Not really)

So “Beer Summit 2009” took place in the back of the White House last night.

You know, I’m sure Barack Obama put out the Chex mix, peanuts and badly cooked Vienna sausages to give it that feel from “Cheers.”

And so we have the President, Dr. Gates and Sgt. Crowleyand Veep Biden (?!) … all hanging out like a bunch of guys on a weekend pass fresh on the heels of some Amway convention.

Just look at them. How staged was this dumb thing? It’s been in the news for more than week and there’s not even a pool table or a jukebox blaring “All My Exes Live in Texas.” What gives?

Evidently “Happy Hour” wasn’t so happy. Sad, you try to get a few dudes together to play beer pong and quarters and now the Congress and national media get involved. No fun. And spin control at its finest. Yawn.

As if the outdoor-lounging, suit-wearing, Biden-interrupted toast to nothing was bad enough, we have another national debate sparked out of what beer should be shotgunned… er, sipped out on the White House lawn.

In a letter to Obama dated Wednesday, Massachusetts Rep. Richard Neal strongly urges the president not to drink Budweiser, now owned by a Belgian company. Nor should the White House consider serving Miller or Coors, Neal writes, both owned by a United Kingdom conglomerate.

This country’s deficit is going the way of U.S. War Bonds, swine flu is killing everyone but pigs and then there’s that government-run health care idea, and this is what this tool thinks is most important?! Shilling for the president to slurp on a Sam Adams?!

So, for those dunderheads keeping score at home:

POTUS: Bud Light
VPOTUS: Bucklers
Gates: Sam Adams Light
Crowley: Blue Moon

And after the round of suds, what happened? Did Crowley show Gates more moves he learned at the police academy, slamming his grill in the rose bushes outside? Did Gates get so hammered, he began giving Obama nuggies? Did Biden… well, he always looks that way. Nevermind.

Let’s put the brakes on this ridiculous news cycle, everyone. Back to running the country. Places!

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Written by theflak

July 31, 2009 at 9:06 am

The Spin View: Where’s Michael?

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For weeks, the world has reeled with the death of Michael Jackson.

And while people have been buying his albums “off the Wall,” (Sorry, it was just there) the one thing people can’t seem to grasp is when will the friggin’ stories stop!

He’s dead. He revolutionized the business. He will always be remembered… namely if the media won’t shut up about the fact that… oh yeah… he’s dead!

I’ve often wondered if I had the power of a digital editing suite at my desk, how I would be able to masterfully maneuver around all the gesticulating banter on the Michael Jackson story… and inevitably, stick a log in the spoked wheel spinning out of control.

Now thanks to the genius writers at “The Daily Show,” I no longer have to dream. Enjoy!

Vodpod videos no longer available.

more about “The Spin View: Where’s Michael?“, posted with vodpod

PETA’s new PR campaign out to the dogs

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So, awhile back there was this quarterback who had a truckload of cash, talent and rocks in his head. You see, his idea of fun and yuks was putting dogs in a concrete ring to play UFC. Classy.

No wonder he ran so fast

No wonder he ran so fast

Well, Michael Vick’s shenanigans caught him rethinking his position on how to treat your pet for 23 months in federal prison.

The Atlanta Falcons canned him. The NFL ostracized him. And PETA? Well, they want to beat up his mother they’re so upset.

Protests. Near riots. Lovely nicknames I care not to discuss in public (except for Vick the Puppy Slayer. So cute). And now, a possible PR opportunity?! [Shout out to PRNewser for a lovely picture].

“I’m familiar with [the PR plan],” said Dan Shannon, director of youth outreach and campaigns for PETA. “We have been in discussions with Michael Vick, with his management team, about the possibility of him putting out a public-service announcement with PETA when he’s out of jail. We want him to discourage people from taking part in dog-fighting. I can do it until I’m blue in the face and it might not convince anybody. Michael Vick sure can. He can say, ‘Look, I did it, I was wrong, and it ruined my career.’ “

How sweet when the circle of life (and blatant spin control) wheel ’round and ’round. Yes, the masters of media capitalization have allegedly approached Michael Vick to become PETA’s new spokesperson.

Who woulduve thunk it?! Well, according to this immediate post found in the Los Angeles Times, not PETA.

That offer [to be the new PETA mouthpiece] was subsequently withdrawn in December, after the group received a U.S. Department of Agriculture report offering details of the dogfighting operation that landed Vick a nearly two-year jail sentence. Shannon said in a statement that any deal was off when the group discovered, as a result of the report, that Vick had “enjoyed placing family pets in the ring with fighting pit bulls and that he laughed as dogs ripped each other apart.”

So, PETA is still advocating for your pets. Vick is still getting out of jail. And America is out one entertaining PR circus.

Love those news cycles… even when the wheels fly off from time to time.

Written by theflak

May 11, 2009 at 2:23 pm