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“Swine Flu” is actually media pork

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The world is dawning surgical masks like they are in style. Americans are considering a mass influx to synagogues or the local mosque. And why?

According to the nation’s hog farmers, “This little piggie can kiss my [bleep].”

pigs-uniteEvidently, as noted in this CNN story, the moniker given this flu bug is a grave misnomer and those aforementioned farmers are winning the battle of nicknames.

This sardonic concoction is actually a mix of human and animal strains, with not an ounce of bacon in sight, yet it’s the pigs who get picked on. Poor ol’ piggy.

“This flu is being called something that it isn’t, and it’s hurting our entire industry,” said Dave Warner, communications director for the National Pork Producers Council. “It is not a ‘swine’ flu, and people need to stop calling it that … they’re ruining people’s lives.

And so, the CDC has now begun calling this dreaded flu strain (and tweeting it no less), “N1H1” but the hog farmers are yawping, “Too little; too late.”

“The real issue is that anything is bad now because producers for the past 19 months have already lost money,” Warner said. “On average they’ve lost about $20 a pig. So even if they lose $2 more, it’s hard on them.

And besides all this talk about pork making me hungry, it makes me think of another thing: It’s not Kosher. Literally.

We will call it Mexico flu. We won’t call it swine flu,” Deputy Health Minister Yakov Litzman, a black-garbed Orthodox Jew, told a news conference Monday, assuring the Israeli public that authorities were prepared to handle any cases.

Ah well. I don’t see anyone from a big White House calling the Holy Land looking for a mea culpa on that P.C. insensitivity. Maybe I just missed that story.

Anyone bothering the good Muslims? I hear they aren’t big fans of pork roast either. Oy Vey!

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Written by theflak

May 4, 2009 at 12:00 pm